I have blogged before but it was for a business which meant I could be me but professional me not the real me. Using this blog as an outlet to just be the real me, who I am and how I struggle with this C-word battle is not just cathartic for me but I am hopeful helpful for someone reading it who is going through the battle or who knows someone going through it.
With this site, I decided I did not want to follow a set schedule (with my business blog, I blogged 5 days a week and built up my social media to over 5000 Twitter followers and still even now between 1500-2000 visitors a week even though I have not blogged consistently since last summer). I did though want to promote the site and get the message out there about living life after breast cancer diagnosis.
The diagnosis changed my life in more ways than one and really it sucked and if I could change the fact that I got breast cancer, I would. However, that is not possible so all I can do is turn the negative into the positive. I am very good at being positive despite the fact that I am for all intents and purposes a worrier. I have learned to not worry as much, in fact, I joke with my doctors all the time that it is their job to worry for me and that I have officially outsourced it to them.
I do think I am a better at being human since my diagnosis - I care less about appearances and I forgive more, too. I know now that life is too short to be unhappy and that the things that kept me up at night worried before mean nothing now. I just roll with things better and appreciate the good more than ever before.
For example, recently, I took my two kids on an outing to a local attraction and just being able to do that and enjoying time alone with them was so amazing. It was my norm before; I would spend all summer taking them out and about but doing it now made it all the more meaningful for me - it was like the first time I felt "normal" even though I have done some amazing fun things post diagnosis this just felt "normal" like, "Oh, I am still me."
I did get tired quite easily and because of the radiation burns, I could not wear anything under my clothes so I was one-boobing it, it was still a special day. I am getting close to 7 months after my surgery and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel with completing surgery, chemotherapy and now (almost) radiation (2 left!)
This is what I think about in the time between.
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