Today is my first day here at Sloan as an out and proud blogger who shares too much about my life (lol). I am here today to get the Lupron shot which keeps my ovaries on "ice". I opted to get this shot every three months instead of monthly. The only negative about the 3-month shot is that the injection site swells (this is normal - I found out after I visited a doctor after my last shot in May) - the swelling is from the time released medication that is stored under the skin in your butt/lower back area. Yes, this needle goes right into your butt cheek. I will write a post soon about being in medically induced menopause at 40.
Not only am I here for the shot but also to get screened for a clinical trial that I decided to sign up for on the suggestion of my oncologist. I have read online that there are more cancer clinical trials than there are patients available, willing and signed up to do them. I was hesitant to sign up for this clinical trial. I was afraid of what a new medication could do to me and how to manage getting "better" with now another drug that can remind me of this big health crisis...
Ultimately, though, after carefully reading the information and sitting with my doctors to discuss my questions, I signed up and was selected to take part in the trial. I still do not know if I will get the medication or not. It is the PALLAS trial (more information here--> pallastrial.org/) and it is a drug that IS FDA approved for later stage breast cancer and has shown to help those patients with stage 4 metastatic breast cancer. This study is being done to see if the drug has the same effects on earlier stage cancers.
My oncologist told me I was a good candidate for this trial and still I was worried about signing on. I thought (and prayed) really hard on it and decided that if I am willing to change almost everything about the way I live (letting go an-open-letter-to-me.html and eating/lifestyle taking-back-control.html) then I should be willing to follow doctor recommendations and sign up for a study.
I have to admit, though, I am not sure if I am hoping to get the medicine or not get the medicine (there are no placebos so I will know if I am taking the medicine or not). I feel like Rachel in Friends when she took the pregnancy test at Monica's wedding and wasn't sure if she wanted to be pregnant or not and then Phoebe told her she wasn't and she broke down all sad and then, "Surprise, you are!" -and that was how she knew how she really felt. I know it's ridiculous to compare my feelings about a potential arsenal against breast cancer for me to a TV show from the 1990's but it is what popped into my head and I had to share it.
I will keep everyone posted -- I wish I had blogged all those days when I was here sitting and waiting for my chemotherapy but I just could not do it. Even now, I am thinking, what would I do if I God forbid got bad news at one of these appointments? In my heart, I know I would do what I started to do this June - be open, be free and just share my story to help others. Cancer sucks!
This is what I do in the time between and I will be here for a while today so maybe I will even update this post.
Have a great day!
**Updated to add: I was picked randomly to be in the arm of the study WITH the medication - and I am kind of excited about that!! :) Any thing I can do to kick Cancer's ass, I will.
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