I never thought I would ever share stories about my tits, my boobs, my naked body. (Check media-me-sharing-my-breast-cancer-plot-twist-and-pinktober.html and MATE.)
I never thought I would get breast cancer (what-is-your-breast-cancer-risk.html) and I have learned most of all that it is not a sign of weakness to ask for help (who-is-on-your-team.html). It is not a sign of failure when your body betrays you (an-open-letter-to-me.html).
Most importantly, I have learned that sharing my story and being so OUT THERE is weirdly enough very healing and very empowering. It is healing to me and trust me after the year I have had, I need to be healed. It also is empowering for me to hear from others who are going through it, who need to see someone who has been through it and so I let that person be me - warts and all.
I am not perfect but I am tough. I did not fear anything once I got through chemotherapy. I realized that if I am willing to do anything to stay alive, that means I need to start living. I need to let go of the shit and only keep the good. I know it sounds cliche but you have to be as positive as possible WHILE also recognizing that this sucks.
I am by nature an optimist - I am infuriatingly chipper almost every day from like birth. In high school, when I slept over my best friend's house she would threaten me with bodily harm if I continued to smile and chatter when she was still half asleep (sorry girl - decades later but you know...).
So what you see is what you get with me - I am cheerful to a fault and I do not do well with being fed bs. You either love me or you tolerate me - there is no other reaction. And now that I got the mic (thankfully I am not singing) but now that I got the mic, I do not want to stop sharing because someone out there is reading this and maybe they were just diagnosed and they are scared and afraid. I was that once, too. All of the positive attitude potention in the world goes out the window when you are told you have "cancer". It knocks you down but you cannot stay down. You have to get up, keep smiling, put that wig on, put that lipstick on and go for your own Academy Award.
Do not care about the weight or the hair or the missing boob(s) until treatment is done - than you will need hings to do in the time between as you wait to God willing be cured or to just there to be a cure - something has to give and what you have to give is just being you however that is - you are special, you are beautiful and you had cancer but cancer NEVER had you.
This is what I do in the time between...
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